Non-committal veganism

"Patchwork religion" is a term which defines many people I know. We take a little of this and a pinch of that, "once around the bowl of this" (Rachel Ray), and presto: We're a Cathrabic Athenihumanist. As if that were possible.

Anyway, this is not a religious discussion; it's about food. More specifically food without meat, or eggs, well, mostly :).

For as long as I've been cooking for myself, I've never really enjoyed cooking meat. I see the frozen patties of this or that, and I wonder how to prepare them. I also have a financial aversion, monetary tick, bref, a need to be thrifty at all times. Chalk it up to my teacher salary & upbringing. This is to say that not cooking meat is a great way to save money.

In other news, it was during a recent meeting with some Christian friends of mine that I found myself drawn to a book called The China Diet. The Lord uses some pretty unique instruments to get my attention. So while my friends were discussing the plight of Samson, Delilah, and the Nazarite vow, I was Providentially distracted by this book. In spiritual terms, I'd been "searching" for healthier foods for a while. The book practically jumped into my hands like my friends dog jumped over his coffee table. I mean some things one just has to notice.

New list of heathy foods to try in tow, I began to think, "I can do this." I already like almonds, blueberries, whole grains, and lots of other recommended things. But wait, limit limit crackers (TRISCUITS!), olive oil (EVOO!), and fish. Avoid cheese, yogurt, & meat?! Who are these people? Well it turns out they already have a club; they're VEGANS! [insert blood curdling scream].

Don't worry; they're not coming for your children like "they gays," "the liberals," "the gay liberals," or anyone else (James Dobson), they seem like a rather harmless, albeit weird bunch. Possibly more cat lady weird than "Keep Austin Weird" sort of cool hipster weird... at least judging from the profile pics from some of the vegan websites I found. (Thanks for the recipes "Ilovecats2day." Ok, I made that up, but it's not far off some of the freundlich vegan recipe-sharers I borrowed ideas from.)

So, there I was, sitting in my red Wal-Mart camping chair on my self screened-in porch, ready to take the almost vegan plunge. I suppose, then, that ultimately this experience is rather like a conversion after all...only I'm not sold yet. Turns out the recipes are fun to prepare, easy, and I can basically mix a lot of them together to create new things.

Here's where vegans and I disgree, however, and I become more of a patchworker myself. If the meal sucks, I'm still going to add cheddar cheese. As for yogurt, I might start adding the optional h just to flaunt my desire to still partake of a nice, chilled yoghurt. Additionally, I'm not going to frantically beat soy powder to bring about the possible Big Bang of vegan eggs ... well at least not until I get my hands on a food processor. Finally, I will eat meat. I have frozen bacon in the freezer and there will be more flammenkeuche! Kesha, I guess you're [almost] right, I will "Drink that Kool-aid" after all.

For now, I'm humbled by the power of legumes (beans and so forth) and feeling healthy & happy each time I prepare my own meal. Plus, I had a pie party! (Williams-Sonoma Blueberry Crumble Pie is not on the vegan list.) Adam & Eve knew what they were doing eating berries and plants...well until the forbidden fruit (oops!).

Here's to tofu ... that word has way more attitude than it's reputation allows. Letcha figure that out.

-L